Taking On Hell
by A x Stupid x Lamb
Summary: I got up and slumped closer to the mirror, focusing more intently on those blood red eyes. I took one look and remembered what I had done to make them such a violent colour… and I liked it. I mean the joy you get from human blood is just indescribable.
1. Chapter 1

_**Taking on Hell.**_

_**The Faded Memories of a Distant Dream.**_

_**Chapter One**_

If you look the word 'addiction' in the dictionary you will come up with being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something. What they don't tell you is if you want to beat that addiction you have hell to pay.

My addiction? Well a very abnormal one, blood. Not just any blood but human blood. You have no idea what I went through to get this far. The disheartening thing is I'm no way near ready. Even after 40 years it's not gone away. Oh, sure the humans are not in trouble anymore when I'm in control but when I'm not, or blood is involved, there are no guarantees everyone will make it out alive. My addiction began once the Cullen's took me in.

I sat in our new room; it had a double bed and a great view, just want Alice wanted. I looked around with amazement; this room was so … grand! Back with Maria it was a basement training ground with nothing but the essentials that I needed to create killers. However this, this was full of life and care, not something I was used to.

"Something wrong?" Instincts took over and I flew to the opposite wall of the door, where my intruder was. I took one look and released a breath I didn't know I was holding. It was only Edward.

"Don't do that!" I growled, walking back to the bed and sitting down, but still on edge.

"Calm, my brother, you are not in a battle zone anymore." He said, walking forward and leaning on the wall in front of me.

"I know, I just don't like new places, it makes me edgy." I moaned. To distract my frazzled mind I got up and opened a box that carried all my miniscule belongings. It contained one set of spare clothes, my uniform from my days in the confederate army; I could never bring myself to get rid of the one thing left of my human life and the picture Alice took of her and I when I asked her to marry me. Her smile was the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

"That's all you have?" My mid flew back to the present situation and noticed Edward looking in my box. I closed it slowly and nodded sheepishly.

"Yeah, I never really cared much for possessions, we couldn't become our own person with Maria." He seemed to think then and I picked up on enthusiasm coming at me in waves.

"Well, what things do you like?"

"As in?" I asked, confused.

"Well, what hobbies do you enjoy, what clothes do you like?"

"I… I… err" Now that I thought I didn't really know, I had forgotten what I had done as a human to pass time. I tried to think as hard as I could, visions of music, strings, strumming.

"I think I played guitar, when I was human, it seems right to me." He nodded in understanding. I tried to think of anything else I did or liked as a human.

"I can't think of anything else, my memories have dwindled, I barely know who I was now." I shook my head, frustrated at myself.

"You are thinking too hard, brother, just off the top of your head tell me what you like." He smiled; sending me an emotion I only ever got off Alice… it must be love.

"Cowboy boots, they remind me of home," I winked.

"Very well, Jasper, I will leave you in peace, I will be in the room opposite should you need help." I nodded, silently thanking him in my thoughts.

"No need to thank me, it's what I'm here for." He gave me one last smile then departed the room. I sighed and returned to looking around the space I could now call home. My eyes took in every detail, not wanting to miss any of the magnificence that coated every corner. I stopped when my eyes drifted over a mirror that was built into a desk. My own eyes blazed back at me, red as ruby but with none of the charm, they were the eyes of a killer, of one who had seen too many lives taken at his own hands. They were the eyes that shouldn't have been mine to begin with. I should have died years ago, an old man, peacefully in my sleep. Yet it seems there was no place for me in any world: Human or Vampire alike. I got up and slumped closer to the mirror, focusing more intently on those blood red eyes. I took one look and remembered what I had done to make them such a violent colour… and I liked it. I mean the joy you get from human blood is just indescribable. The more I thought the more I wanted it, not to kill but just to feel them moments of happiness. It filled my up and refused to leave me alone. I couldn't live without it. I had to hunt.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Leaving may be hard, but being weak is even harder.**_

"Jasper, NO!" My eyes flashed to the door and Alice came bursting in. I instantly went to her side and put my hands her shoulders, trying to comfort her.

"What's the matter, Ally?" Worry entered my tone; I had never seen her so scared.

"Jazz, don't do it, I know it's hard for you but please, don't ruin it now, you've come so far!" After these few words I knew what had happened, she had no doubt seen me mercilessly killing an innocent human for selfish needs. I sighed and kissed her on the cheek to give her some much needed love.

"I'm sorry, Ally, but I can't do it, and you know that."

"Yes you can!" her whine made me hate myself for the pain I was causing "when are you going to see what I see in you?" She moaned, pulling away from me and slumping into a rocking chair near the door.

"You see to much good in me, in truth I can't keep up with this diet, it's time I left." She snapped her eyes up to me and glared. I had never seen my little Alice glare before and it was a powerful thing.

"NO! You are NOT leaving, Jasper." When I didn't say anything she got even more furious "That's it, we're calling a family meeting!" She yelled. What could I do but nod? She dragged me to the dining room, and sat me down in a chair and kept me at her side.

"Family meeting!" She cried to the rest of the house, she didn't need to do it so loud, we could hear fine. The rest of the family came and sat down in there appropriate chairs and waited for Alice to begin. I merely stood from my chair and leaned against the back wall, shaking my head and pleading with my eyes when Alice protested.

"Ahh, I thought this might happen." Edward murmured. I gazed up and stared at him, lost for words.

"And what is that exactly?" I asked, confused.

"You would wish to return to your old diet. I urge you not to, once you taste human blood again, there's no going back."

"You did it," I reminded him shortly.

"Yes, but that's because I could do it because I hadn't tasted it for many years, it was easy to resist yet with you… it's different."

"You mean I'm weak!" I snapped, "You think I'm not strong enough to stick to your disgusting diet!" I unconsciously moved forward, getting ready to strike if needed.

"Relax, Jasper, no, that is not what I implied at all." I didn't 'relax' as he asked, I merely glared at him for a short amount of time and then looked away to Carlisle.

"Would you care to explain what you would do if you leave?" He queried in his sometimes annoyingly calm tone.

"Return to my old diet, live life as a nomad probably." I shrugged my shoulders, it was obvious he didn't approve.

"Well then I cannot allow you to leave, I'm sorry, I will not loose a son and send him to live his days lonely, with no company at all but his thoughts." My anger finally came bottling out; he wasn't _letting_ me leave?

"You don't make my decisions for me, Carlisle." I growled

"Don't I? Am I not, as is written on so many documents, your father?" Still that infuriating calm manner!

"That is merely for convenience, they are forged and in case you forgot, I paid to forge them!" I was edging every second closer to hysteria. I stormed to the door but found it blocked by Emmett, stupid overgrown oaf!

"Move!" I barked, pushing him roughly.

"You will not leave this room, Jasper," came Carlisle's voice again. I whipped round to face him, glaring right into his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Watch me!" I slammed Emmett into the wall and headed for the front door. I wasn't Fast Enough. Carlisle Stood at the door, blocking me from freedom.

"If you want to kill humans, Jasper, you're going to have to kill me first." A hint of danger, yet still in those eyes, love. I slumped down to the floor, leaning on the wall and closing my eyes. He doesn't want to make me angry yet he does; loving me makes me hate him.

"You're not going to let me leave, are you?" I sighed, realisation hitting me with a fatalistic blow.

"Not until we've tried every other way." He murmured, sinking down resting his hands on my shoulders.

"Why do you care for me so much? I am nothing but a nuisance to you but you still put up with me with every breath. Why?" I moaned. He was confusing me, showing me love, I never got that with Maria, and maybe this is why.

"Because you need it, and you are my son, just like any other. You will be treated no differently then anyone else in this family. It's time you tried to live in a family, not an army, Jasper." I opened my eye to him smiling slightly. I smiled slowly back.

"I do not know how." The smile was a sad one, a regretful one. He simply nodded and patted my shoulder one last time then straightened up.

"Go to your room, Jasper, I will be with you momentarily." He carefully said. It was not a threat but could be easily taken for one had I not had my gift. I lifted myself off the ground and took for the stairs.

"Yes, sir," I muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

**_When Father Told Me To Dream_**

I waited and waited; time ticked by so slowly it was painful. How long does he need to just come in! I sighed and slumped back on my bed. Alice hadn't come in since I was told to come here; maybe there was nothing she could do for me. All these thoughts came flooding in and the worst thing was that, with my developed mind, I could think of it all at once. My thoughts soon came to a halt as I heard it.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Come in," I sighed, continuing to remain staring at the ceiling. The door opened and closed just as quickly.

"Jasper?" Carlisle tried to get me to notice him.

"Yes, Carlisle?" I replied, still staring above.

"Look at me Jasper," He said sternly. The new tone in his voice made me slowly sit up and lean against the headboard. There was no need to annoy Carlisle.

"You said you do not know how to act in a family, is that really true?" He said, leaning against the door.

"Yes, I only know how to act when being told what to do." I told him curtly.

"Let me tell you this, Jasper, if I told you to act as though in a family would you be able to do it?" I shook my head slowly, confused where this was going.

"No, I would not." I clarified.

"But that is being told what to do, is it not?" He mused, smiling slightly. I laughed at that.

"I guess so." I grinned. "Would you like to try it?" I asked curiously.

"No, I would never take someone's free will from them. Telling someone what to do does not earn you loyalty, merely hatred," he frowned to himself.

"Then what do you suggest I do?" I asked; I needed help.

"Talk to your brothers, talk to me, don't keep everything so bottled up." He advised.

"I… I… I do not know how!" I howled.

"Try, Jasper, you can do it, just do not send yourself back to hell, you don't belong there."

"But that's it, it's not hell to me, it's heaven! You don't get what you're missing, you are truly missing out." I moaned at him. Why couldn't he understand?

"Really? Heaven? And what about the fact that you feel everyone's pain as you kill them slowly?"

"I… well… you get used to it." I stammered. He smiled, obviously not believing me.

"Do not lie to me, Jasper, I have no time for liars."

"Fine, I hate it but the reward is worth it."

"Is it? A life for mere seconds of pleasure?"

"Well what should I do?" I practically screamed. He walked over to me slowly and perched on the end of the bed, by my feet.

"Close your eyes." He instructed. Hesitantly I did as he said, where was this going?

"Good, now, picture yourself in a forest." I did as he said; my mind was soon occupied with forests and lakes.

"Now, you smell the trees, the mud, everything. You walk through it, searching for a human to feed on." My eyes flew open at that.

"What! What has this got to do with anything?"

"Jasper" his tone made me cringe slightly "you'll find out, now close you eyes!" My eyes closed once again and I was back in the forest, hunting.

"Thank you, you come into a clearing now and you see someone crouched by a lake, their back to you." I did as he commanded, imagining everything.

"You find out it is a woman, her scent fills you even from across the clearing. You have to have her." My throat burned painfully as I pictured this. The dry ache was forever haunting me and the scent drew me closer.

"Get on with it!" I moaned, as the scent grew more realistic with every second.

"You get closer to her to get your reward. Finally you are within seconds of biting." A whimper escaped my lips as I could feel the warm heartbeat as clearly as anything.

"Then, you slowly bend to her neck and grab her throat, holding a hand over her mouth to stop her screaming." Sooo….close…must…bite!

"Then you look at her to find not a stranger but … Alice!" Instantly I didn't bite her but flew across the imaginary field. My eyes snapped open.

"What the HELL!"

"Tell me, what did you do once you saw Alice?" He asked, slightly amused.

"I didn't bite her obviously, I left the clearing." I said impatiently.

"And there lies your solution. Merely imagine every person you want to feed on is Alice, you will not dare bite them after that." He smiled. I returned it and chuckled.

"Oh, Carlisle, you think it is that easy?"

"It worked for me. Use it. It may come in use." With that he got up off the bed and began to leave.

"Wait!" He turned slightly back as I called after him.

"Are you not going to punish me? For earlier?"

"Why, Jasper, I believe you have learned your lesson, besides, you have a lot more torture in store. I am proud of you, son, do not forget that." And then he was gone. So I was to stick to being a vegetarian, in the name of my … family. The word family is a term I use very rarely but I see now, there are my family. I have lost my old human family but these are just as loving. Maybe it's not so bad here after all. Hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4

_**The Life Slowly Ebbing From Me.**_

Days have passed since my meeting with Carlisle. And through each one of those days I felt my control slipping more and more. Draining from me. Second by second I grew weaker. To make this worse, Carlisle enrolled me into high school, great, people. I could picture it now, right in the middle of lunch, draining each person dry until they breathed no more. So they no longer drove me mad with their heavenly blood.

"Jasper, don't think like that, your only hurting your chances if you say you can't do it." Edward murmured from the front of his Volvo. I sighed and slunk to the back of the seat further.

"Cheer up, Jazz!" Alice moaned. I pulled her closer to me, sitting in the seat next to wasn't enough; I needed her warmth, her loving hugs. She scooted over and willing fell into my embrace. I sighed contentedly and thought back on the events of today. We had gone to get all my supplies I would need for tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow! That gives me 24 hours to prepare myself for hell.

"But you won't be going to hell alone, brother." I caught Edward's eye in the mirror and he smiled.

"I won't ever get used to your mind reading." I shook my head at myself, it was amazing the only worry I had nowadays was school… of all things, school.

"Just wait until you have to worry about homework." Edward chuckled, a gleam in his eye. Just then the car stopped.

"This is where you leave us, Alice." He added politely.

"Sure thing. See you later, Jazz, have fun!" She winked and gave me a kiss as she left.

"What? Where are we going?" I queried, turning back to Edward.

"To give you a break." He replied mysteriously. I sent him some enthusiasm; maybe this would make him tell me.

"Oh no, Jasper, that won't work, I'm not telling." I gave up and resigned to my seat.

Minutes passed as we chatted about nothing interesting, merely ways to appear human and vital information I would need to start school again. I had lost my humanity and it was time to get it back.

"We're here." He announced after 15 minutes of driving. He parked and I finally looked up to our surroundings. It was a mall!

"Edward, are you insane! I can't go in there, I'll drain every single person dry!" I screeched frantically.

"No you wont because you have your well controlled, polite and frankly more good looking brother to help you." He winked then got out of the car and set off. I wasn't just going to be left here so I had to go after him. I stopped when we reached the doors to the mall. Edward noticed and turned back, walking up to me.

"Jazz, you'll be fine." He assured, patting me on the back.

"Speak for yourself," I muttered, gradually shuffling forward. All too soon I was inside the dreaded building. The smell was overwhelming; my mind flipped to one of battle and I thought too many consuming thoughts. I would block the doorway, no one would escape, and no one would evade me, none. A tap on my palm came to my attention so I turned to see Edward, a warning expression planted on his face. I sighed and reluctantly moved my feet to wherever he was leading me. He pulled me along, deeper into the heart of it all; did he want me to kill someone? It was as if he was enticing me, showing me into the dragon's lair.

"Please, Jasper, I'm hardly wanting you to kill anyone." He smiled, shaking his head as if he didn't believe that I had thought that. Well I did, it's just the way my mind works.

We passed endless shops and stalls, the more we passed, the further we were from the exit and the closer I was to killing someone.

"Not on my watch," Edward piped again. He then stopped outside a shop and I gazed up.

"Edward, why have you brought me to a music shop?" I mused, perplexed. Of all the shops… why this one?

"I came to look at pianos in here." He clarified. I raised my eyebrows, his emotions gave him away and he merely shook is head at my silent question. Then he guided me in and pondered around the shop, occasionally stopping to examine something. When we reached the back of the shop he stopped, smiled and murmured,

"Pick one, brother, and it is yours." I once again brought my black gaze up to see a wall full of magnificent guitars of all colours, makes and styles. My mouth fell open as a stared, transfixed.

"… Although it would be nice for you to pick before the day ends," he chuckled, giving me a nudge, which brought me back to the real world. It was then I focused more closely, picking my favourite. My fingers drifted over one in particular, a simple brown one with a sturdy design.

"This one," I pronounced proudly.

"Are you sure?" I nodded my head slowly.

"It's perfect," I declared.

"Very well." He then left me and in mere minutes the guitar was in a case, in my hands.

"Please, let me pay." I objected when Edward pulled out a familiar clear credit card.

"Jasper, it is a gift, please, accept it."

"Ok, half?" I tried to reason, I couldn't let him fork out that amount of money.

"Nope, and don't even try to pay me back or ill buy you a dictionary so maybe you'll understand the word 'gift'!" He laughed as he finished paying and I walked out with a new guitar and Edward walk out $400 short.

"One more stop, I think." He muttered, heading off in his own little world.

So that was why, five minutes later, I was standing with a pair of cowboy boots in my hand, Edward, once again, handing over his clear credit card, giving away more money that I didn't deserve. I protested of course but he was having none of it. I eventually shut up and left, carrying more then I bargained for.

After that we decided to stop and sit in a little café to talk. It wasn't very often we managed to be alone to talk about stuff only each other could understand. The first thing I muttered when I sat down was,

"Thank you, you didn't have to." I gestured to the bags.

"We all need a little pick-me-up some days, it's nothing." He dismissed. After we talked some more time slowly got the better of us.

"You realise you have been in a crowded shopping centre for a good two hours and you have not done anything…. Revealing, don't you?" He mused, I laughed.

"It is because I am otherwise occupied to think of things like that."

"Well, lets not push it, I believe you have a loving wife who wishes to see you again." Alice. I sighed; her hair, her eyes, everything about her was perfection.

"I do not deserve her." I whispered as we rose to our feet and left. _I've missed you, Ally, _I thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5_**

_**Killing You Out Of Love.**_

School. How… boring! It is enough to drive one mad. The constant repetition of the day, always knowing what you have next and when to be there just simply bores me to no end. I had one of my brothers or sisters in each lesson. One with Alice and let me tell you, I look forward to that moment every day. I usually arrive before her and the way her face lights up as she sees me and glides over to the desk next to me makes me thank the heavens for such a gift. She belonged to me for which I was forever grateful.

Yet her face was troubled today, pained, as she walk towards me. _Oh Ally, let me release you from your pain, _I mentally sigh. As soon as she sat down she smiled once then looked forward, just as the teacher came in and began the lesson.

"Don't tell me you're fine because I know you're not." I spoke so fast no humans could hear yet she _could_ hear. Her flinch confirmed it.

"It's nothing, just a vision, nonsense," she murmured.

"Alice, don't lie, you're terrible at lying." I warned.

"Now is not the time. Later." She pleaded with me as she buried her head in her book, aimlessly copying the teacher's words into it.

"Later." I vowed.

So as soon as lunch hit I cornered her at our table.

"Alice, now will you tell me?"

"I…I…err can we talk later please, somewhere more private?" I sighed, furious.

"Alice, please, no one can hear but me; just tell me." She took my hand and rubbed circles into it, tracing patterns only her mind can conjure. Then her shoulders hunched and she gave in.

"I saw, me… dead." She whispered the last word and I was sure I was mistaken, but no, my perfect hearing saw to that.

"What? How! WHO!" I fought to control my voice so I didn't alert anyone with nosy ears. Bu this, this cannot be true. Can it?

"You."

"Me what?"

"You… you kill me… but why? I... I thought you understood Jazz, I though you knew I loved you!" She glided off her chair and stormed out the room, leaving me with them fateful words. Well, I guess love does hurt.

I wanted to leave, to go find her, but Edward told me she needed alone time and it would just make it worse. Oh, the pain, the strength it took to remain at such a mundane place while my Alice confronts death, at the hands of her own lover. I wouldn't do it, its just absurd, just purely a mistake, a hoax. I just wouldn't sink that low, I would never do that, even if everyone's lives one Earth depended on it. On that I am certain.

Maybe if my guard hadn't been so down I wouldn't have smelt her. Across the room, in history, there she was, her features were not the best, yet that scent. It drew me in, reeling me, helpless. The droning of the teacher became a hum as I focussed with a vengeance on that human. She would be mine. That sweet, sweet, sweet aroma that belonged to me! Me, all mine!

_NO!_ I mentally cursed, _she'd not food, she's Alice._ I remembered what Carlisle told me, depicting my hurt loved one in that humans face. It worked, for mere seconds. Then the hunger took me over and I was gone. This is not Jasper; he is somewhere else.

I rushed out of the class in a daze and found myself in my car; Alice had obviously run home without a lift. I took deep breaths, trying to clear my mind of her, yet no matter how long I tried it wouldn't fade. It haunts me.

Tell me now I am innocent.

I slammed the door as I exited my car, got enough so Edward could hear my thoughts in his class (I already memorised all my siblings timetables) and asked him to get Rose to drive my car home. I wanted to walk home. Just as I took a step over the school grounds the bell went and I moved faster then anything before, in case she was there.

I eventually made my way to the forest surrounding the school; I was not ready for home yet. I slumped against a tree, wallowing in hatred and self-pity. The grass was turning brown in the autumn air; everything was dead around me, just like that girl will be if I see her again. I closed my eyes and, for the first time in my vampire life, I wished for sleep to take me.

I do not know how long I remained there, thinking, dreaming of horrors, yet soon the sun began to fade even more then usual and night had taken over the sky. The clouds rolled over and that's when I lifted my body off the ground to return home.

Yet her beautiful bouquet still followed me, chasing me. And that's when, by some dramatic irony, I smelt her all over again. Yet tenfold, she was close. The animal rose from its awkward slumber, which had lain dormant for many years, and I followed it willingly. Tracing my meal, my human.

It didn't take long to find her, of course it wouldn't. I pushed into a small clearing where she was sitting, reading a book. She heard my sounds and turned. Alice. Every inch of her was Alice, how could that be? She did not smell so enticing, I knew Alice's scent and that was not she.

"Jasper?" she asked perplexed. It was my angel's voice. Yet that didn't matter, the frenzy began; I stalked closer, hunting my prey.

"W…what are you doing?" she whimpered. I paid it no mind and continued with my path; all the while my heart pushed me away. Yet my heart was not in control of me anymore, the fighter in me was.

She got up to leave but I soon put a stop to it. I grabbed her neck. Even if she made me mad with her smell she was still vampire, that meant killing her the vampire way. I placed both my hands on either cheek. If I could cry I would right now, the two sides in me were battling it out and one had to loose.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I felt the last part of me that was human give up the fight. I snapped her neck, and she was gone.

"ALICE!!!!!!!!!!" One word of love dragged out in pain and despair. My Alice was gone, at my own hands; tell me it is not true.

So I ask, I am a murderer?

* * *

Please review for me guys and tell me what you think :) it is very much appreciated. i hope you like it. There more in store for Jazz.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Jazz POV_**

_**Cemetery Bells Ring.**_

I clung to her lifeless- and headless- form and wouldn't let it go. I sobbed and sobbed until my eyes were red but nothing ever fell, no, no tears, as usual. My arms froze in place, forcing her body in my iron cage. Alice was right; I had killed her.

"No, no, it's can't be." I bawled into her shoulder, "I'm so sorry"

For hours I remained there, wishing I could turn back the clocks of time. Yet here it was, reality. The sun now was completely enveloped by the horizon, dark descended over the grounds, bringing an eerie quality to the evening.

"Jasper?" Edward's voice was distant in the bitter air. I didn't respond to his question, I was too distraught.

"Oh, baby, come here." Esme, mum. She crouched behind me and pulled me into a hug. "Come on, leave her. Let her go."

"NO!" I moaned, gripping her to me with fury. Carlisle's figure came into view now, he started tugging at my hands, forcing me to let go, but I wouldn't, I refused. "Jasper Whitlock, stop this, your getting blood everywhere, please, son, let her go, come home." What blood? Alice didn't bleed, what is he on about.

"I can't let go of Alice, don't make me." I muttered in a monotone.

"I don't think my idea worked for you, Jasper." I saw his head shake, smiling slightly.

"W…what?"

"Jasper, don't worry, your conscious is clear." I snapped my head up, shocked at his statement. He then gestured to the edge of the forest, and there she was… my angel.

Then I turned back to the figure in my arms. Her body slowly began to dissolve and fade into the woman from history. Her scent, gone, dissipated into the atmosphere. I dropped her.

Then I went into the arms of my Love, my Mistress, my Ally. Her warmth made me smile; she was back where she belonged. With her family.

"I thought I killed you!" I whimpered. But before I could continue she placed a finger over my lips.

"Hush, all is well, it was not me. What I don't get is why I saw you killing me, not the girl there; even if you saw me, I would see the woman."

"When I wanted to hunt I decided to see your face to try and stop that. That's what you saw; I decided that.

"I see," she chuckled, "come on my soldier, its time to come home." I pulled my hand slowly free.

"No, I cannot leave her here, like this." I went over to the body and scooped it up. I then made my way to the local cemetery. My family followed, close on my heels.

I sombrely dug a hole big enough then laid her corpse inside.

"You're missing something." I turned to Rosalie, who had remained surprisingly silent throughout all this. She dropped the girl's head into the pit and I piled the dirt back on.

Once the earth had consumed her I rose to my feet and turned away.

"It's over, let's go home." I gave a small smile. As they started off home I turn back just once and muttered two words that I had said so much today.

"I'm sorry"

**_Alice POV_**

**_Release Me_**

We returned to our home, Jasper was silent the entire run home. Each second that passed I grew more anxious; he was planning something and I didn't know what.

When we arrived he tapped me on the shoulder.

"Why don't you come with me." It wasn't a question, so I had to nod. He led me to our room and each step felt like I was walking to the gallows. A sick twinge in your stomach.

"I'm Leaving." The two words were not true. Oh god let them not be true!

"Jazz? I don't understand," I mumbled, trying to reach for him, but he shrugged me off.

"I cannot … do not make me stay here," he pleaded with me, urging me with his eyes to comply.

"This is what you really want?" I asked, incredulous.

"Yes… please. You are the only thing keeping me here." He leaned in, my breathing picked up, he needed to stay here, I could not let him go, he was part of me. "Release me." He whispered in my ear.

"How do I release you, Jazz?" It was as if I was in a trance, I would not fight back, just listened with a clear head. What's happening to me?

"Just tell me to leave and that you have no need of me anymore." By this I was shocked, he thought I would say that? Ask that of him?

"But I do need you" I tried.

"No my love, It is time, I have proved that I am no good for you; I cannot endanger you anymore. Please let me go." No matter how much I protested I still found myself nodding.

"Ok" I muttered.

* * *

Ok so I really didnt want to stray of Jaspers POV but I just thought this part of the story would work better in Alice's POV i hope you enjoy :) Oh and YES! ALICE IS BACK!


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter 7_**

_**Letting go is the way it has to be.**_

I felt so bad for manipulating her emotions. Mainly because I wanted her choices to be her own but it also felt just as bad as lying to her.

"Thank you." I muttered, heading over to the bed, reaching under it and pulling my bag out, all packed and ready to go.

"You've been thinking about this for a while huh?" She breathed, still in a kind of trance.

"I guess so." I smiled, and then tragically slumped over to the window. Once I was fixed on the ledge all I had to do was let go. Release her and me. Seconds from loosening my grip I turned back to Alice.

"Tell me, Alice," I whispered.

"I…I..." She couldn't do it on her own, I urged her on with my power so she could get over the worst of it.

"I let you go Jazz, I don't need you." I nodded appreciatively and then did the one thing I never thought I would do, let go. My hand slipped and I was falling. For a fraction of a second I flew, then I crashed to the ground and walked away from the one place I ever called home. I slipped into the forest, looking back only once, she was standing by the window just looking, pain swelled her eyes and she then turned away and step away into the shadows. She was gone. Now we could both live in peace. I would return to my eternal slumber until I was near her again but that didn't matter; I would give anything for her.

Seconds, minutes, hours, it didn't matter; time meant nothing. After who knows how long I had set up a small camp deep in the forest consisting of a fire and log for a bench. Yeah, some camp. I didn't need the fire but it felt nice against my stone cold skin. I sat thinking, just thinking, about everything and yet nothing. I would have run as far as I could but I couldn't bring myself to leave just yet; I had to make sure she wasn't going to do anything stupid. Lord knows what a distraught vampire mind can do.

"Jasper Whitlock, how many times must I come and bring you home?" Carlisle, for god's sake! Will he ever let go? I sighed in frustration.

"Why are you here?" I demanded, tired of his constant rules and restrictions. I mean I loved him, don't get me wrong, but doesn't he know when to stop and give a guy some privacy and time to himself?

"I should ask the same question," he breathed, walking over and sitting on the log bench next to me.

"I am here for a little time on my own to think about things." I muttered.

"No, you're not, you're running away." He warned, a hint of danger in his tone at my actions.

"What would you do?" I pleaded, urging him to give me some sort of answer.

"I would return to my _wife_ who loves me very much and is owed it to her." He smiled, patting me on the shoulder. "You won't leave, your heart is not in it."

"How do you know?" I challenged, standing up, getting ready to leave.

"Because you would have left already." He observed, nodding at the fire. I sighed; he knew me to well and it pained me, I had always remained an enigma to others that no one could solve, yet him… Carlisle could read me like that. He was truly a remarkable person.

"I will see you at home, Jasper, Alice will be waiting," he murmured, rising and heading back to the house.

"Yeah, I know," I smiled, picturing Alice at the front door, arms out for me. What a lucky person I am. I put out the fire and headed back home, damn it I could never leave, she was all I needed in life, why go and search for something I already have? My own little slice of Heaven to take on Hell.

_**FIN**_

_**Please review and i hope you enjoyed :)**_


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